As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.
So the single most vital step on your journey toward enlightenment is this: learn to disidentify from your mind. Every time you create a gap in the stream of mind, the light of your consciousness grows stronger. One day you may catch yourself smiling at the voice in your head, as you would smile at the antics of a child. This means that you no longer take the content of your mind all that seriously, as your sense of self does not depend on it
Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship.
The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.
Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death.
To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation.
Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.
Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.
Pain is inevitable as long as you are identified with your mind.
The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment, and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified with your mind.
Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet. It is the body's reaction to your mind — or you might say, a reflection of your mind in the body.
Eckhart Tolle
http://blog.gaiam.com/quotes/authors/eckhart-tolle?page=3
So the single most vital step on your journey toward enlightenment is this: learn to disidentify from your mind. Every time you create a gap in the stream of mind, the light of your consciousness grows stronger. One day you may catch yourself smiling at the voice in your head, as you would smile at the antics of a child. This means that you no longer take the content of your mind all that seriously, as your sense of self does not depend on it
Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship.
The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.
Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death.
To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation.
Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.
Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.
Pain is inevitable as long as you are identified with your mind.
The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment, and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified with your mind.
Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet. It is the body's reaction to your mind — or you might say, a reflection of your mind in the body.
Eckhart Tolle
http://blog.gaiam.com/quotes/authors/eckhart-tolle?page=3
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